MY sunny patch of freedom

A long time ago, I sat down with my friend Frank Sinatra and wrote a song (featured at end)
With the advantages of hindsight, I would say 2004 was very much a year of learning. I learned what real love is, what real Godly commitment is, and loads more personal stuff aboot people i proly shouldn't put on my blog. I came out of 2004 really thinking i'd been edified and I'd grown. But now is 2005, and I don't think that's without its precidents either. I think 2005 is beginning to reveal to me my independance.
Work at Carpet Right (which I quit earlier today), the whole Africa thing, A levels, and i gues my general lifeness now seems a lot more Ben-ated. I'm enjoying the freedom in this, conversly, I am also feeling choked by family, college, certain friends and paradigms and habits in my life.
A concatenation of this and certain pragmatics of emplyment have resulted in me choosing to move out of my humble abode, and into the big scarey wide world. Intermittantly, it would appear I'll be living with Shona - until i get off my bum and find someone to marry!
After an amusingly unsuccessful spell at the job agency (Kelly Services) on friday, I have an interview for Norwich Union on tuesday, (which sounds sufficiently ominious!) - after two cpt exams! This is a very big gamble I'm taking. I've quit my job and put myself on the line assuming I'll geddit, but that's all part of my 2005 philosophy (explained later).
Another thing is, I've always felt more at home in Norwich than Great Chavmouth, phsycially, emotionally and Spiritually (After all, it's where my best mates are, where i don't hate and where i was baptised). Moving to Norwich would mean i could go to proclaimers regually too, which is indeed, a very endearing prospect!
There's a lot in my mind atm, so I'm terribly sorry if this is just an unorganised typing vomitation on the page, but this all boils down to the evolution of my 2004 philosophy of `live for the moment` into my current philosophy of `live for the self`.
Life's too short not to grab it by the short-and-curlies and shake it until it spurts out what you want! I intend to live my life for God, for me, and for cool friends who rock my world. I've no further intention to be enslaved to an impossible system, be it education - or capitolist machine. I'm in this world, not of it. ie - I'm doin' it...

My Way
(P. Anka, J. Revaux, G. Thibault, C. Frankois)
[Recorded December 30, 1968, Hollywod]

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

[instrumental]

Yes, it was my way
p.s, sorry for the pants link there