Honesty

When we say `I surrender everything to God`, what do we really mean by that?

I went for a run today and was praying but i thought, why is it I say that the most when I have the least to loose? Why is it that God's more useful when He takes away than when He imparts the blessing in the first place? Every sermon on the prodical son or harvesting or any other Christian idiom never shys away from the concept of thanking God in the fullness. The forgiver of sins and the bringer of life blesses each one of us, but I dont give the praise He deserves for any of it. And I find that I scarcely find myself making any attempt at even trying to match gift with thankfulness. Do I actually love god as much as I love my lover? Do I actually think of Him as much as I think about dinner? Do I give a second thoguht to the work He entrusted me with?

I wonder how readily I'd call myself a Christian if I even began to let these questions penetrate...