26 days later...

Dear Charlotte

What a lovely name you have. I have named several of my specimens `Charlotte` over my many yurs of expeditions... Not that you're a specimen at all. And if you were, you'd likely as not be something amazing like the South Peru Lava bug's first Lavae stages of mitosis!!

Now back to the issue at hand... Seeing as I have many many theories and papers and all manor of scientifical know-how in the old noggin' (that's brain) perhaps there is something else you could help with.

Please feel free to comment on what you are able to help with and we can mix-and match our wherewithalls. Here is a brief list of some of my theories:

• `The Theory of San Tropais` - a paper in which I associate the effect of a butterfly flittings it's wings and the performance of Hedge Funds of investment companies to see the limits of `Chaos Theery` (incomplete)
  
• `The Thoery of Hungry Habits` - a lecture i gave in Middlesex about the relationship between migratonal habits of domestic dogs and undomesticated ones. (inconclusive)
  
• `The Divine Beaker` - A unpublished book written by yours trully (me) in the mid eighties about the Effect of the Lord most high's Holy intervention of empirical scientific practise... namely particle acceleration and charge fields. (inconclusive)
  

Yours with sincerely

Dr Benjamin F Foster

----- Original Message ----
From: Education
To: Benjamin Foster
Sent: Thursday, 31 July, 2008 2:00:48 PM
Subject: RE: Theory Of Everything

Dear Benjamin,



I’m afraid this is not something we can help you with. Good luck with your investigation.



Kind regards

Charlotte
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(my e-mail in case forgotten)
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From: Benjamin Foster [mailto:benvolio_1987@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: 05 July 2008 21:01
To: Education
Subject: Theory Of Everything



Dear The Royal Society

I was reading a book the other day and apparently physacists are struggling to find a grand Theory Of Everything (hereinafter refered to as TOE).

As I basicly have an 'A' level in physics (I say basicly, I didn't turn up to my Waves and Particles exam as I got the wrong day!!!!) I thought I'd lend you a hand.

Knowing that the Electromagnetic, weak and strong forces are all nicely unified, and you only need a link betwixt these and the Gravitational force (g), I did a bit of number crunching and after a handful of hours I managed to do it!!!

If we assume the three unified forces can be assumed as f(Ɵ), and the gravitational force deonted as f(g), then we can safely assume

f(Ɵ) α f(g) => f(Ɵ) = k.f(g)

Now if we substitute k with a string of real numbers denoted by scampi (Ϡ) we see a non-linear relationship between the two functions...

f(Ɵ) = Ϡ{1..78} f(g) :. f(Ɵ) / f(g^{1..78}) = Ϡ

By simply epiricly calculating the value for scampi, all the forces in the universe are unified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me know your thoughts.

Dr. Benjamin F Foster