http://www.makepovertyhistory.org iBlog: Women BISHOPS?! OMGWTFROFLMAO!

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Women BISHOPS?! OMGWTFROFLMAO!

Currently, women in the Anglican church serve God with cake sales... taking them away from this to serve as a Bishopess leaves men to do the baking. Men as we all know were designed by God to fight wars; grow beards and eat cake made by the women. The effect of having a man (hereafter refered to as a MAN because this is written by a Christian MAN and all Christian MEN feel the need to define themselves as masculine) would be that the whole parish -> diocese -> denomination will be struck down with the seven deadly plagues of bad cooking:

- Dissintry
- Flatulance
- Legionairres
- Putting God in a cake box
- Foot and mouths
- Black death
- Regular death

Wiping out the bulk of the parishioners leaves a vacuum of condinsending and twee behaviour in the shires thereby raising the general moral of the country.

This moral boost comes at a good time while petrol costs 178.9p/litre and bread costs the same as a quintupple of JD+Coke. The general public will be happier that there are fewer Christians moaning all the time and so the country will be more productive. City bonuses will reach an all time high and the value of the FTSE100 will show steady economic growth and because people will be happy, import/export duty will be reduced so the DOW and EURO will also increase. This increase of economic power will marginalise China's dominance and thus their schedules for industrial expansion will underperform. Thus China's only response will have to be to turn to democtratic capitolism. This liberalisation will also infer that China's dependance on the African labour force will also have to bow to trade unions and Amnesty International's demands for the enforcement of basic human rights.

Africa's new stable work force and economic plans will involve state run sponsorship of infrastructure and investment in health policy, literally making poverty history.

Finally, while the world pulls itself up by its boot-straps, the only people to suffer will be the Anglican women bishops, who, husband-less confused and broody regress to the feral woman state of talking about kittens and knitting.

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