So it's been 12 years 3 months and 15 days since Top Gun was released

So in tribute I thought I'd do a quick plot summary of what is arguably the best film ever made...

We start off an an aircraft carrier. Think if it like a Citroen Picasso for planes that sails around the world waiting for things to fight.

One day some bastards from another country (they don't speak English so it's not really important where they're from apparently) fly in with their black planes and wind up the captain with the fat cigar. So he sends out some F14s to kick their asses.

Maverick and his `WING MAN` Goose blow things up and take a poleroid that probably looked well good but you couldn't see it because it was classified. Neither could the woman later on who Maverick had a problem with but then later did sex with.

When Maverick and his `WING MAN` Goose come back, the captain with the cartoon cigar explains to them:

``You're writing checks [sic] your body[s] can't cash! Gentlemen, you're going to top gun!``

In an irate tone, but Maverick and his `WING MAN` Goose don't mind because they're gentlemen who are going to Top Gun.

So they go out and celebrate in a bar and Maverick tries to chat up a girl called Charlotte but because she hangs around with milatary men a lot she calls herself Charlie so they think she's one of the lads. She bats of Maverick so he and lots of men sing

``you've lost that loooooving feeeeeling... woooaaahhh that looooving feeeeling. you've lost that LLOOOOVVVVing feeling now it's gone.... gone... gone, woah. Dum, da dum, da dum, da dum dum``

And they leave it there and while she looks bashful and embarassed, Maverick makes some smooth moves on her.

The next day they all go to Top Gun which has an angry soundin general who explains that

``You are the top 1% of pilots in the US navy. You are the best of the best of the best. Gentlemen, welcome to Top Gun``

Then he walks away and another man talks for a bit more while Maverick whispers something to his `WING MAN` Goose that I can't remember.

A short while later, a girl explains to all the pilots about the plane they've all being flying and are in the best 1% of the navy at flying which seems a bit pointless but that's what happened and she explains that the plane can't do something, but Maverick is all like `that plane can do that cuz we dun it!` then she's like `no, shut up`, and he's like `we got a poleroid to prove it but I can't show it to you because it's classified and you're a woman` and they all snigger. (By the way, the woman was Charlie but they didn't know she was working at Top Gun when they all sang to her).

Another pilot - Iceman takes a disliking to this because he respects women. Maverick and his `WING MAN` Goose don't like Iceman because he has a cooler nickname than Maverick and Goose put together. Iceman's wing man is called slider I think so it seems that the wing men aren't allowed names as cool as the pilots.

One of the dog fights results in Maverick writing a check [sic] that his body can't cash so his plane crashes and Goose dies which his sad because earlier that morning Goose had quite proudly said

``I'm your `WING MAN`, Maverick!!!!!!!!!!!``

Which explains why Goose is Maverick's `WING MAN`.

Then Maverick stands in his pants in the bathroom which isn't very appealing but the girls seem to like it and Iceman gives him an awkward pep talk. Maverick's new Wingman Sundown is well excited to be his new `wing man` but because he wasn't as cool as Goose, he's not allowed to be refered to as Maverick's `wing man` with capitol letters.

Anyway, Maverick sort of can't be bothered by now so even when Jester is like `go on, shoot me, wanna shot me? Who's a big pilot?! 'eh? Who's a big pilot?!` in a dog fight, Maverick is like, `pfft, can't really bothered` so he doesn't shoot Jester and Sundown is MAD, but when they get down to earth, Maverick yells at him so it's all okay.

Some more stuff happens and Iceman wins the Top Gun trophy and Maverick ends up with Charlie and the film ends with `you've lost that loving feeling` on the Dukebox which makes you feel happy but then the credits have `highway to the dangerzone` playing which makes you feel manly.

The end.
In memory of Goose