TOP SECRET!! Re: Intellegence Report
Dears Mr Gordon L Brown
Following our discussion the other day, I am pleased to outline details of the intellignce I have been gathering about Afganistan. I have taken the liberty of marking this FAO Top Secret so none of your workers should see the contents.
Firstly, the Afganis speak Afgan and used to be Budhist but there are some Muslims who go around with guns and stop that from happening. This stopping of things seems to be a theme in the Muslims (the gang is called the Tallybang) such as:
* Not letting women vote
* Not letting women use the toilet
* Not permitting wet t-shirt competitions
* Not permitting the not smoking of opium based psychotropic substances
Worse than all of this, they are currently trying to kill British soldiers who are out over there! We need to do something about these Talllybangers and I suggest kicking their asses with nuclear bombs and that.
In my mission, I measured the country to be 251,772square miles (a fact substantiated by wikipedia), so assuming one bomb will annhiallate everything in a 50 square mile radius, you'd need about a hundred and twenty five thousand bombs which can be bought from armeries and munision factories everywhere. Ring the Ministry of Defence for more info and ask to speak to purchase ledger department. This will reduce the country's population in the region of 100 industry-standard percents reducing it from it's current 32million to somwhere in the region of nil. There also may be long term side affects for the rest of Human and Animalial Civilization. For more information, speak to the Department for Health and ask to speak to Geoff.
Well that's about all Your Honour
Any questions, just give me a buzz and feel free to communicate my next assignment in the usual way.
Yours sincerely
Agent Red Fox
x
Following our discussion the other day, I am pleased to outline details of the intellignce I have been gathering about Afganistan. I have taken the liberty of marking this FAO Top Secret so none of your workers should see the contents.
Firstly, the Afganis speak Afgan and used to be Budhist but there are some Muslims who go around with guns and stop that from happening. This stopping of things seems to be a theme in the Muslims (the gang is called the Tallybang) such as:
* Not letting women vote
* Not letting women use the toilet
* Not permitting wet t-shirt competitions
* Not permitting the not smoking of opium based psychotropic substances
Worse than all of this, they are currently trying to kill British soldiers who are out over there! We need to do something about these Talllybangers and I suggest kicking their asses with nuclear bombs and that.
In my mission, I measured the country to be 251,772square miles (a fact substantiated by wikipedia), so assuming one bomb will annhiallate everything in a 50 square mile radius, you'd need about a hundred and twenty five thousand bombs which can be bought from armeries and munision factories everywhere. Ring the Ministry of Defence for more info and ask to speak to purchase ledger department. This will reduce the country's population in the region of 100 industry-standard percents reducing it from it's current 32million to somwhere in the region of nil. There also may be long term side affects for the rest of Human and Animalial Civilization. For more information, speak to the Department for Health and ask to speak to Geoff.
Well that's about all Your Honour
Any questions, just give me a buzz and feel free to communicate my next assignment in the usual way.
Yours sincerely
Agent Red Fox
x
posted by Ben F. Foster Esq. (c) @ 10:01 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:06 PM,
Timothy V Reeves said…
Hahahaha! A real classic in Bennagism! All those serious minded politicians and do-gooders need a good dose of Bennage to give them a bit of perspective!
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