iBlog: May 2009


Tomorrow's blog today

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Why with God, it's good to be a man

I've always been up for a spot of mysogenism... poking fun at women's tiny wee brains: their lack of spacial awareness, their inability to dig for coal, their disinterst of `foot-ball-ings`...

Well with this in mind, there's a website to help women out with cars. It's called women and wheels

There's a page with a jargon buster that has the line:
Diesel engines don't use much petrol


In this household, the women are confined to talk of kittens and washing up, and the important things like sorting out Red China and motor vehicling are left to the dashing, byronic, heroic, important men. Such as myself.

... and they're welcome.

Thursday, May 28, 2009 Petition

People call our democratic system flawed. We have a government that's hesitent to refurendums, politicians who embezzle public funds into real estate, ministers who are incapable and unversed in their areas of office, but there is a single shining light at the end of the tunnel the UK Parliamentiary system.

That is the e-petition link on the website. An online thingmybob that allows you to petition the PM with whatever your whims take of your fancy.

This seems quite well managed by Whitehall or wherever, and there are some legitimate progressive points being raised there. I, myself consider myself a bastion of the old guard of British Politics so to keep the balance of Western Democracy, I decided to corrupt this and start me an e-petition for my old friend, Mr Oliver Letwin MP.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to:

Pay Oliver Letwin back the £2,145 that he himself paid back after orginally claiming for on expenses for repairing his tennis court

Add more details of your petition:

As the very prime of ministers yourself, you should know better than any what pressures are on members of the parliament these days.

And still Mr Letwin paid back, out of the goodness of his own heart the expenses he claimed for the repairs of his tennis court. How does that make you feel? That's a legitimate claim! What do we disalow claims for next... Eh? Well I don't want to know what next, because my rage is out!!!

Requested Duration:

4 months, 5 days

Choose a short name for your petition (6 to 16 letters):


To my count, this e-petition falls foul of eleven clauses in the abridged terms and conditions of use. Still waiting for them to rubberstamp it, but if they do, I'll link you so everyone can sign it.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Stick that kettle on!

... Because everyone's favourite Blah are back from Scurrtlund!

Was a nice week of fishing, whisky and meeting new family.

It's the habit of Fosters to live far apart and not really like one another, so to meet the MacDonald's/McDonalds was nice. They're very welcoming and friendly people and I feel welcomed, friended and well fed.

I said hello to most at the wedding, but that was over a year 'narf ago and that was a case of  `...and this is Uncle John`, `helllo, Uncle John` and then being pulled away so this was the first time I really met them met them.

Interesting things done include
  • seeing the oldest tree fossil in scotland
  • eating 500 year old shortbread
  • watching angles and demons to escape the rain
  • going to Iona and finding out it is gay
  • seeing the Falkerk wheel
  • flying on the world's tiniest plane
So there you have it.

Milk, no sugar, ta.

Friday, May 08, 2009

A week of nicks...

Yesterday at work I met Nick Knowles.

Today, a sunny friday where I start my weekend at 3pm, the last thing that happened was my general manager and me chased a shoplifting vilian half way to tesco and watched him get nicked by the old bill.

Somedays I like my job.


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Graph Jam

song chart memes
see more Funny Graphs