iBlog: February 2008


Tomorrow's blog today

Friday, February 29, 2008

Today I bought a 50p set of vernier callipers from Tesco

ben nostril to nostril width = 32.45mm

La nostril to nostril width = 23.05mm

Width of Ben's glasses = 129.80mm

Width of La's glasses = 129.80mm

Height of La's ear (right) = 51.50mm

Height of Ben's ear (right) = 55.90mm

Length of La's index finger (right) = 87.55mm

Length of Ben's index finger (right) = 103.05mm

nostril deviance: 9.40mm
glasses deviance: 0.00mm
ear deviance: 4.40mm
index finger deviance: 21.50

mean deviance between La and me: 5.68mm

(For everything else there's a ruler - La)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dave dave dave!!! Watch this!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Today I've decided to follow British consensus thinking

Here are a few basic axioms about the way I therefore now think:

a) I'm essentiallly appalled at human rights violations and think we should hang criminals
ii) For arguments sake asylum and immigration are essentially the same and not worth distinguishing
3) I celebrate other religions but Islam is wicked and Christians are intollerant Biblebashers
- Democracy doesn't work because all politicians are corrupt so I won't vote
* When Diedre Rasheed gets out of prison I'll start petitioning my MP Re: Mugabe
XIV) I don't get anything for my council tax

I'm struck dumb by a sense of irony and contradiction.

*back to normal benness*
note to self - stop reading the sun

Thursday, February 21, 2008

My Genius

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Thought I'd publish some of my poetry

Ballad of St Edmund the Martyr
By Ben

St Edmund the Martyr did die with so many arrows in his back
as a man dieing the death of st Edmund the martyr should merit
A number that is a lot
A number that only the Danish heathens could count.


But St Edmund the Martyr did have the last posthumous laugh
'pon the Danes all dieing of death.
In 970 AD.


Jesus in Canaan
By Ben

And you've missed it.

That whater you've grown so adoringly with
Whater no more.
Wine in jugs.
Wine in jugs.

A soft ambience of applause ripples through the crowd
at this miracle

But all the guests, despite their etiquette
In their turbans do throw the Qu'ran at Jesus

Because now they're thirsty.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

``Why have interstella communication when you can have interstella war``

Friday, February 15, 2008

Listening to Laura singing in the kitchen is a lovelly reminder of how nice life is.

(This is another.)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Councill Pay for Exorcism

Monday, February 11, 2008

Worlds Apart

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains

{adore} the nails and stale remains...
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago

So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now

and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away

{I look beyond the empty cross
{forgetting what my life has cost
{so wipe away the crimson stains
{adore the nails and and stale remains
{so steal my heart and take the pain

take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears

All I am for all you are

Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Archy Williams Wants Sharia Law in UK

Linky Link

Now... I'm not opposed to this idea.

Christian groups are vying that `social cohesian` cannot be achieved by integrating Sharia law to the UK system because we're staunchly and absolutely Christian and the Islamic savages can do Sharia on their own time in their own places.

Personally I don't think `social cohesien` isn't about blurring the boundries between cultures and unifying the world into a single race - I think it's about affording other groups the liberty to do and choose as they see right or proper, so long as it doesn't offend or encroach on another group and having Sharia divorce courts can only serve to the benefit of not only Muslim communities, but also to the traditional *Christian* legal system. After all, you can't send a naughty child to a tribunal and you can't send a murderer to his room. People are different and have different needs and denying them is denying them their rights to identity, and THAT is an ``erosion of Christian law``.

In short: Here's a message to Christian groups - `SUMO: Shut Up! Move On!`

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Fourish years or there abouts...

When you came you were like red wine and hunny
And the taste if you burnt my mouth with its sweetness.
Now you are like morning bread
Smooth and plesant
I hardly taste you at all for I know your savour
But I am completely nourished.
-Amy Lowell

(from a daily poetry calendar from mom)

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Barack vs Clingon

I don't really care.......

But woman presidant?? Don't think so, old boy.