iBlog: February 2007


Tomorrow's blog today

Friday, February 23, 2007

I cannot tell

I cannot tell how He will win the nations
How He will claim, His earthly herritage
How satisfy the needs and aspirations
of east and west, of sinner and of sage
But this I know,all flesh shall see His glory
and He shall reep, the harvest He has sown
and some glad day His son shall shine in splendour
when He the saviour, saviour of the world is known

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Open Letter To Amy Winehouse...

... Stop singing! Just stop it!

Yours sincerely


Monday, February 19, 2007

Today I've decided...

... That Kate Middleton is lovelly.

Which makes the new Top 5 Good Mornings....

1) The Woman with the Lovelly Laura Lumps. (La)

2) Kate Middleton

3) Nadia Vole (From the Alex Rider series - she was killed by a 10ft jellyfish falling out of its tank onto her. Unfortunate for Nadia, but I'm sure the jellyfish had fun)

4) Rose Byrne - actress, doesn't do a great deal.

5) Nadine Coyle - from Girls Aloud

* size of pictures doesn't necessarily reflect the level of lovellyness of each of these wee women

South Sea Tribe Worships *King* Philip as a God

Linky Link

p.s - any one notice they're holding the Union flag upside down?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Vicar All Stroppy About Marrying Gays

Linky Link

Like our vicar says `I don't marry you, I facilitate you marrying each other`.

Bit of a sticky wickett here but if push is shoving come, I think I might well side with the vicar about:
'I love you both but I can't bless it or allow you to use our halls because I don't think God would bless it'.

I think that's fair to say. The vicar would have been wrong in saying `gays shouldn't marry`, all this guy is saying is `under the circumstances I don't think you should consider church or a man of the cloth to do this`.

Do disagree about the boarding house thing though - that's nothing to do with blessings but shows signs of being uncomfortable and violated for no other reason than naivity and homophobia

Labels: , ,

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Jimmy Carr Jokes

When someone close to you dies… move seats.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea, you never get that tea.

I grew up in Slough in the 1970s.
If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s… go there now.

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.
When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

I'm not saying Michael Jackson is guilty.
But if I was a billionaire paedophile, I’d buy a funfair for my back garden.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her.
So I said, "All right, fatty."

Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.

I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

I went up to the airport information desk.
I said, "How many airports are there in the world?"

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.
She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?"
I said, "All right, but we won't get much done."

I've got no problem buying tampons. I'm a modern man.
But apparently they're not a "proper" present.

I hate those emails where they try to sell you penis enhancers. I got 10 just the other day.
Eight of them from my girlfriend.
It's the two from my mum that really hurt.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Can't Complain...

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Man responsible for global warming

Friday, February 02, 2007

It's Friday, Therefore...

From the Week in Pictures,

Gay extremists begin their `breast protest` on Jackson Road, London.

After 25 years of taking her food through a straw, Mavis' dimentia hits in at her 114th birthday party.

``Number three, would you say: `I'll knife your f'ing face, I swear, I'll knife your f'ing face right off!` please``

The Name's Windsor. His royal Highness Prince of Edinburgh and Wales, duke of Cornwall Air-commador-in-chief Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor.

[To the Third Snowman From the Right] ``... or are you just pleased to see me?``